Top 10 Tracy Jordan lines from 30 Rock

Thanks to Unlikely Words for coming up with this idea and for cataloging all of Tracy's lines from Season 3 of 30 Rock. If you are one of the few who hasn't seen 30 Rock, stop what you are doing -- after you finish reading this post -- and go buy the DVD's. I know, that's so 1900's of me...

Thanks also go out to Jason & Alex at one of my new favourite websites, Huffington Post.

Tracy's lines are often non-sequiturs, which makes them strangely "had-to-be-there" moments, but most of them are just funny.

In episode chronological order:

1. “You’re going to sue me? Who do you think you are, the San Diego zoo?”

“You can’t sue me, I’m already being sued. Double indemnity!”

The first one is actually a two-fer. The first because what could have happened at the zoo so that he is being sued? Second, his trademark idiocy is just too funny. Double indemnity! Ha!

2.“Do you know who I am? Seriously, please, tell me who I am.”

This takes me back to the days (you know, like a year ago) when Tracy Morgan was in the public eye for doing some pretty wacky, messed up stuff, to the point that I wasn't sure if it was real, and Tracy was vying for Andy Dick's spot in the dead pool, or if it was a clever marketing ploy to boost 30 Rock. I am still not sure...

3. “I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek.”

This is the funniest reference to Shatner in recent memory. Bill really chews up the screen and only has one acting gear: overdrive.

4. "It’s like an owl without a graduation cap. Heartbreaking!”

This one makes you think for a second to get the reference, like most of Tracy Jordan's one-liners, then you think of how ridiculous it is as a reference. Awesome!

5. “I went out with the interns. Those white boys are not kidding around. Have you ever tasted scotch? It’s terrible! And this thing they call ‘box seats at the Ranger’s game,’ it’s so cold. And what is Rohyphnal?” He is then told what Rohypnal is, “So I shouldn’t have taken 2 of them for my headache?"

Replace "interns" with "frat boys" and a lot of memories come flooding back... except for the roofies. I love the follow up line about taking 2 for his headache.

6. “Yes, I found it on my favorite website. Stopshowingoff.com.”

If this isn't a real site, it should be.

7. "I’m not an expert, but I do have a strong opinion."

Is that Tracy Jordan talking, or is it me?

8. “Um, my work has taken me there. I was supposed to be in that movie Rush Hour, but two weeks into shooting, I was replaced by Jackie Chan.”

Text doesn't give us the timing that Tracy Jordan has nailed on this line. We all think he is going to say Chris Tucker, the black comedian, but no, he goes the other way. Well played, sir!

9. “Devil’s avocado here, Larry. I think people should freak the geek out. Withdraw all your money and hide it.”

Playing the "Devil's avocado"! I love it! That is definitely going into my everyday speech.

10. In response to Jack Donaghy telling him, "That's easy for you to say," Tracy responds with, "“No it wasn’t. I struggled through that sentence."

An old joke, but Tracy Morgan nails it!

There are many more 30 Rock jokes to choose from, since Tina Fey (Liz Lemon), Alec Baldwin (Jack Donaghy) and Jack McBrayer (Kenneth Parcell) all have great lines and they all do a fantastic job with their roles, but these are my favourites from Tracy Morgan/Jordan in Season 3.

Is Halifax ready for the D-League?

Some highlights from the Ridiculous Upside interview with Dan Reed, the president of the D-League:

D-League President Dan Reed: Well, if you go overseas you basically eliminate your chances of playing in the NBA that season, so if your goal is to make the NBA your odds are much better playing with us. I asked our folks to run these numbers for me, a - of the 107 players who have been called up to the NBA in a given season, 61% of them (65 players) received a guaranteed contract that season. I actually think these numbers are pretty compelling reasons to play in the NBA D-League, when you consider that: a) even one NBA 10-day contract is worth as much or more than a player can make in a month overseas, b) if you get one 10-day it’s highly likely you will double your money with at least one additional 10-day, and c) if you do get a 10-day there’s a 60% chance you’ll be with that team for the rest of the season, and d) you have a zero percent chance of being “called up” to the NBA if you play overseas.

…

DR: That’s why I think the best number to look at is the sheer number of NBA D-League alumni playing in the NBA, and by that metric, we clearly establish ourselves as the absolute best way to get to the NBA — we’ve produced five times more NBA players than any other professional basketball league in the world. We’re the most heavily scouted league in the world, and that is extremely valuable for our players. If you really want to look at odds, check out this stat: if you played in the NBA D-League last season you had a 1 in 4 chance of participating in an NBA team’s training camp the following season. I’d say those odds are pretty good. And even if after all that the NBA simply doesn’t work out for player, showing well in the NBA D-League allows you maximize your earning potential no matter where you decide to play.

…

RS: It seems to me that if each NBA team had their own D-League affiliate, and was able to call up, send down, and rehab players on their D-League teams, much like the farm system of Major League Baseball, that the NBA and the NBADL would both benefit tremendously. Are the leagues making any attempt toward moving in that direction?

DR: We took a major step towards that sort of system when we created the affiliation and assignment system back in 2005. Since then we’ve doubled the number of teams in the league, have seen 104 NBA players “sent down” and recalled to/from their NBA team, and have had 59 additional players called-up to the NBA. As a result we now have close to 80 former NBA D-League players on NBA rosters right now, which is getting close to 20% of the entire league!

…

D-League president Dan Reed’s checklist for prospective affiliates, from the RU interview:

- a great arena
- strong ownership
- a good market

- market size
- competition
- income levels
- size of corporate base
- basketball fan avidity


Can a PBL team move to the D-League? Looking at Dan Reed's checklist, I think Halifax qualifies.

- We play in a 10,000 seat arena, average about 2,800 fans this past season (1,800 in the first season in the ABA),
- population of 400,000 in the immediate area and draw from another 100,000+ within an hour of Halifax,
- we have 2 university teams in the city and another within 2 hours of Halifax that are usually nationally ranked so we are basketball fans,
- Halifax is a government town so income levels are good and steady,
- the only live pro sport competition is a major junior league hockey team that shares the arena with us.

As for the other current PBL teams, most of their markets are too small to support a D-League team, because of the $1,000,000 franchise fee, versus $10,000 or $20,000 for ABA, depending on your source. I don't know the cost of a franchise in the PBL, but I bet it is closer to $20,000 than a million.

Halifax is unique in that we are a good-size small city with a suitable arena to support a D-League team, rather than many PBL teams who play in much smaller venues. With Maine and Springfield in the NBADL, along with Erie, we could fit into a Northeast division quite easily, flying through Boston or Toronto.

"Doubt, A Parable" Movie Review

The most recent in an increasingly sporadic series of movie reviews by me.

What a great movie! It makes me wish I had seen the play when it was recently presented at Neptune Theatre. There are some spoiler alerts throughout this post, so be warned if you want to see this movie, you should save reading this until after you have watched the film.

Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman, two actors with great skills, play the lead characters. Amy Adams takes on a much more serious role than her typical female sidekick in a Will Ferrell movie, and Viola Davis had a brief but very moving appearance as the mother of the student who is in the centre of the story's central conflict.

The scene between Davis and Streep was more compelling to me than the climactic scene between Hoffman and Streep. There is so much going on during the few minutes between the two women, the dialogue is full of meaning and I personally found it to be the best scene of the movie.

Davis' character is one of four in the original play. She made the most of it in this scene. Oscars should be given for quality, not quantity. I agree with the nomination. Check out lists of other awards, all four actors were nominated for just about everything, as was the screenplay. In my opinion, they all did a great job.

The story has many examples of symbolism:

Bloody noses for one of the boys and one of the nuns. A bloody nose is a sign of upcoming danger or disaster. It happened to both the children and the church.

Names! Aloysius is the patron saint of students. Sister Aloysius was acting out of her concern for the welfare of the students.

Sister James, named for the first of the 12 Apostles to be martyred. Sister James represents innocence, which is the first trait to go when one leaves childhood. The central conflict of the movie would definitely make one grow up prematurely.

Veronica, the name can be broken down to vera (true) and icon (image), representing the old church that was being left behind with the wind of change of the 1960's, the winds being present throughout the movie. Veronica is the "old" church, with her blindness and age, being hindered by her habit (more than one sense of the word is applicable here).

**SPOILER ALERT** The dinner scene contrasting the priests having rare meat and wine, joking and carrying on while the nuns quietly ate their meal, showed that Father Flynn was in the old boys club, so we shouldn't have been totally surprised when he gets promoted by these same men. The scene when Flynn tells Aloysius that she was supposed to talk with the pastor, not a nun, from Flynn's former parish reinforces this message of old boys club. The point of the meat was that it was completely rare, showing once again that Flynn was all about fulfilling his physical desires.

Their titles of father and sister should tell us everything about the pecking order. All priests were called father, even new priests like Flynn (5 years) were superior to all nuns, even senior nuns like Aloysius, who was a Mother Superior. Priests were autonomous, nuns were subservient. That is what this scene shows us.

Father Flynn had long, well-kept fingernails. Long fingernails are a sign of femininity. Maybe how he showed them off to the boys in gym class was an advertisement, to see which of the boys would find them attractive? Flynn's repeating of the importance of keeping one's nails clean reminds me of the Pharisees in Matthew 23:25-28, when Jesus called the Pharisees and the scribes a bunch of hypocrites:

"25 What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy - full of greed and self-indulgence! 26 You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish,[a] and then the outside will become clean, too. 27 What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs-beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people's bones and all sorts of impurity. 28 Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness."

Flynn kept his nails "his cup" clean, when he was filthy inside. I think these verses speak volumes to the message of this movie, the hypocrisy of the church leaders who promoted Flynn and the injustice or lawlessness of that promotion.

Flynn's long and clean fingernails were one of his "vanities". Vanity is a version of pride, which is the greatest sin of all. The nuns chastised the female student (named "Horan"!) about a barrette in her hair - a simple adornment that they saw as a gateway to sexual immorality, which is later symbolically fulfilled with her proclaiming love for a boy.

Also, Flynn's smoking was another flaunting of the rules - he let his physical temptations get the better of him in a number of ways, knowing he was breaking the rules of the church and of God. His pride led to all sorts of sin, including his sins with boys at each of his parishes.

The scene where he smokes in front of Sister James, thereby bringing her in as an accomplice to his infraction of smoking as well as her belief in his innocence, was very well done by the actors and the writer.

**SPOILER ALERT** Sister Aloysius' doubts were in how the church leaders could let someone like Father Flynn be in charge of children when he was tempted by them. Her doubt may also have been to the point of questioning why God would allow such a thing to happen to other children even though she, as the bride of the church, had found him out. I figure it is a literary example of Sister Aloysius being a flawed hero: her lie to trap Father Flynn made her crusade impure, so it backfired.

Bottom line: Excellent acting performances of a very well-written (largely autobiographical) script, expertly directed by the playwright, worthy of the Pulitzer and Tony awards and many other nominations and awards it received.

Francois Violette - Part 1

I am a member of the Violette Family Association, my family on my mother's side. I recently received an article that describes where the first generation of our family settled in Canada. Francois Violette was my great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather, making me the 10th generation to live here. Incidentally, I am also the 10th generation in Canada on my father's side too.

David Violette wrote this article and I am posting it here, in case the internet link ever goes dead.

Description: When Francois Violet left Nova Scotia he was given a land grant by the English in the southern New Brunswick area

This aerial view shows the location of Francois Violet's 1787 Lot 14 land grant in lower New Brunswick, in the Quispamsis area and along the Hammond River.
Francois Violet was born in Saintes, France on October 16, 1744. He arrived in Louisbourg, Nova Scotia in 1749 with his father Charles and mother Marie David. Though his father Charles returned to France around 1759, we do not think Francois returned with him. Francois was French, but much of the population in that area was Acadian. We next find Francois working in St John NB in 1769. He married Marie Luce Thibodeau, from an Acadian family, in 1770 and they lived in a settlement along the Hammond River. However around 1783 British Loyalists were moving out of the United States after Independence, and they forced many Acadians off their lands in New Brunswick.

On April 12, 1787, grants of land were made to 15 Acadians and 27 Loyalists. The lots were awarded such that the Acadians were dispersed among the Loyalists. Francois was awarded lot # 14 containing 210 acres.

This aerial view from further out shows the region of southern New Brunswick where Francois Violet settled around 1769.
In 1754/55, the Privy Council in England decided on a final solution to the problem of the French population in Canada. If they expelled them from their lands they might have taken refuge in Louisbourg and Quebec, reinforcing the French colonies there. Instead, the Privy Council decided to capture and deport all 18,000 Acadians living in Nova Scotia at the time. Some such as Francois' father, Charles, left Canada, but we know that Francois and some other Acadians escaped capture and made their way to the St John River area. He seems to have found some work in that area. They may have been later chased off the St John River by the raids of Monckton, Hazen and Studholme between 1758 and 1763, and settled along the Hammond River because it was off the beaten track. Not once did the raiders of the St John River mention a settlement on the Hammond River. These raids were not just minor harassments; they were meant to destroy all property - both houses and animals - and in some cases resulted in the loss of life for the settlers.

The 1763 Treaty of Paris did not resolve the problems for the Acadians because they did not have title to their lands. They were still squatters on English soil.

So we have a period from around 1759 to 1769 during which we have no record of Francois' whereabouts. His name is on 1769 payroll records in St John NB of Simonds and White, the founders of the first permanent English settlement at St John. He is now 25 years old. And we then find him in 1770 married to Marie Luce Thibodeau.

We know that Francois must have been in the St John area in 1782 because he had an account with Hazen & White, merchants of St. John.

In 1785, 35,000 British Empire Loyalists left New Engand, where they were no longer welcome. They started displacing the Acadian "squatters" along the St John River. Some displaced Acadians migrated north along the St John River and were given grants of land in the Madawaska region. As mentioned above, Loyalists Winslow and Chipman convinced the British government to make grants to some of the Acadian/French settlers along with the Loyalists in the Hammond River area, and these grants were registered in Fredericton NB on April 12, 1787.

The land grants comprised some 42 lots, and our ancestor Francois Violet was granted Lot 14, a lot of 210 acres in size.

The grantees had to clear three acres of land each year for every 50 acres granted, had to erect a dwelling at least 20x16 feet in size, and had to meet other requirements. Plus, they had to pay two shillings per year per hundred acres for a period of ten years.

Apparently, those Acadians and Francois among them were not happy with their situation in the Kennebeccasis area, for they petitioned in 1789 - two years later - for land grants further north in the Madawaska region. This may have been partly because their lands were intermingled with lands owned and settled by Loyalists, so the culture was mixed and difficult. That story, however, will be told in Part 2.

The two aerial maps with this story were taken from Google Maps, and show the area as it looks today.

Some of this story's content was drawn from an article in Rita's book ("The Descendents of Francois Violet", Rita Violette Lippe, 1984) and other from Rod Violette's monograph "Francois Violet Life and Times."

Will Halifax Rainmen's AJ Milien Win MVP?

AJ Milien, a mid-season signing for the Rainmen, formerly of the August Groove, where he pretty much was the offence, must be in the running for Premier Basketball League MVP for the 2009 season. However, there is talk that he may not win it since he has not been the dominant power since joining the Rainmen. I say that being the MVP on a losing team does not mean you are better than a role player on a great team.

Here are the 10 most recent NBA MVP’s and their team records:
2007-08 Kobe Bryant L.A. Lakers - lost NBA finals
2006-07 Dirk Nowitzki Dallas Mavs - won division, top conf. record
2005-06 Steve Nash Phoenix Suns - West Conference runner-up
2004-05 Steve Nash Phoenix Suns - West Conference runner-up
2003-04 Kevin Garnett Minnesota T’Wolves - West Conference RU
2002-03 Tim Duncan San Antonio Spurs - NBA Champs
2001-02 Tim Duncan Spurs - won div.,2nd-best record in NBA
2000-01 Allen Iverson Philadelphia 76′ers - lost NBA Finals
1999-00 Shaquille O’Neal L.A. Lakers - NBA Champs
1998-99 Karl Malone Utah Jazz - tied for div., best league record

As you can see, players who win the MVP do it on strong teams that either win their division with the best conference or league win-loss record, or they go deep in the playoffs. Augusta would not have accomplished either of those feats. Even with AJ, they were 5-4. As of today, they are 9-9.

For the MVP, I think AJ is still in the running, depending on how much time he gets and how well he performs during the last 3 games in Halifax.

AJ leads the league in points per game - even with Halifax games included, he sinks over 60% of his 2-pointers (which is good for a scorer in this league), over 80% from the FT line, averages 10 rebounds a game, and is 4th in the league in blocks (and the only player with more than 20 ppg with over 1 block per game - BTW, Eric and Bailey are #5 & 6 on the blocks list.)

Cedric McGinnis of the Sea Dawgs has to be in the consideration for MVP and so does White Chocolate, although he is kind of the guard version of AJ - outstanding player who gets crazy minutes on a so-so team.

Rochester and Battle Creek might each have a guy, but they seem to have a bunch of Steady Eddies on those teams, with no super-dominant player, just a good bunch of starters who get the job done.

NBADL announce new playoff format

The NBADL just announced their new playoff format. It is pretty wild, with the three division winners choosing their first opponent in the playoffs from the top 5 non-division-winning teams. The fourth seeded team plays the remaining unchosen team in the first round. Is this worth talking about on here?

If the Rainmen want to get into the D-League, maybe we should keep track of what that league is doing.

Here is the March 9 news release from the NBADL regarding their new playoff format:

“NEW YORK, March 9, 2009 - The NBA Development League announced today it has implemented an innovative new format for this year’s playoffs, which are set to begin as early as April 13.

For the first time, eight teams will qualify for the 2009 NBA D-League postseason, including the winners of the three divisions along with the five teams with the best regular season records, regardless of division.

New for the 2009 postseason, the three division winners will have the unique opportunity to select their first round opponent from the teams ranked five through eight. The top-seeded division winner will select its opponent first, with the second and third ranked division winners following in that order. The fourth seeded team will play the remaining team.

“One of our fundamental goals at the NBA D-League is to utilize our unique position to explore new and different ways to grow the game,” said Dan Reed, President of the NBA D-League. “We believe that these innovations will provide our fans with compelling matchups and action packed games.”

The first and second rounds of the 2009 NBA D-League playoffs will be one game each, while the Finals will be a best-of-three series. The first two rounds will be played on the higher seeds home floor, while the Finals will begin at the lower seed’s arena and finish at the higher seeds home court.

The 2008-09 NBA D-League regular seasons concludes on April 11.”

Thanks to http://www.ridiculousupside.com for the news.

My thoughts are:

- that it will most likely still fall into the top team picking #8, second team picking #7 and so on. However, if a high-ranked team knows that a lower-ranked team can beat them (like Quebec seems to be able to do at times - and us, for that matter) maybe they would choose a higher rank than the lowest remaining team to have a better chance of success.

- what about the factor of travel costs? Would you choose the lowest remaining team if it was the geographically farthest from your city (say Halifax or Wilmington), or would you pick a closer team that you may even have a rivalry with (like Vermont and Manchester)?

- speaking of rivalries, they may be even more important than rankings, since it is all about getting bums in the seats. Fans love to see the hometown team defeat their rivals. That may factor into the choice of team too: do we go for an easy win and fewer people show up, or do we take the chance and play a better team with more ticket sales?

Review of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon's First Show

I watched Jimmy Fallon's first show as the new host of Late Night. Overall, I thought it was pretty good, although Jimmy was visibly nervous and his rushed speaking caused him to slur some words, especially the name of the show as he went to commercial.

The monologue was passable, although Jimmy was super nervous and had obviously been studying old Johnny Carson tapes on how to carry himself. It was not nearly as good as his work on SNL's Weekend Update, although I enjoyed the "news slow jam" about the stimulus bill. The jokes nearly wrote themselves on that routine and singer of The Roots --What? An actual recording band is the show band? I sure hope they are the permanent band because they were awesome! -- did a great job with it.

Jimmy's guests were Robert De Niro, Justin Timberlake, and musical guest Van Morrison. I think Bob and Justin were doing Jimmy personal favours by appearing on his first show. Van Morrison is an enigma, I guess he was simply plugging his new album, which Jimmy showed us was an actual vinyl LP record!

Jimmy did well with his interviews, although it helped greatly to have pals on the sofa, rather than say, Joaquin Phoenix.

I think most people thought De Niro was rude to Jimmy, since he barely looked Jimmy in the eye, but I think it was Bob acting that way. He is a great actor, after all! Either that, or he was so embarrassed by the short clip of Space Train, which was just an SNL skit gone wrong. I think the premise sounded a lot funnier to the writers than how it turned out. Plus, how far can you go with it: a movie about space travellers who are scared to fly so they take a train to space? Anyway, I enjoyed Bob's appearance.

The highlight was definitely Justin Timberlake. He very briefly reprised his role as Robin Gibb when the show band The Roots played the theme to the SNL skit Barry Gibb Talk Show. That skit is one of the best ever in SNL history and Justin's appearances on SNL have been memorable. Justin also did an OK impression of John Mayer and a good one of Michael MacDonald singing a jingle for Bud Light Lime.

Van Morrison played a song that no one had heard before, one that featured all 30 or so members of his band (at least it seemed like that many). The DVR didn't record the last couple of minutes - why don't they start shows on time? - but I don't think I missed anything.

Overall, it was a pretty good first effort. Jimmy has some pretty heavy hitters on as guests this week. It will be hard to keep up with that pace for the second and following weeks. Jimmy said as much in a funny but really understated skit with Conan at the start of the show. It was a scene with Conan packing up his stuff from his dressing room while Jimmy prepares for the show, in the same dressing room. Conan played it really well and the uncomfortable pauses were very The Office.

It was a good opener but I will miss Conan's timing, his quick wit as well as his wacky humour. I hope he isn't stifled too much by the Tonight Show people, who may be scared to unleash the full Conan (wasn't that a British movie? The Full Conan) on audiences in an earlier time slot. Best of luck to both of them in their new roles as late night talk show hosts on my favourite channel, NBC.